Paint me…

Picture courtesy : http://progressiverenewal.org/

Paint me a yellow wall,

pretty nice and tall

Paint me your dreams,

how difficult it may seem

Let the water from the clouds flow,

paint me over the moon that glows

Paint me the skies crimson red,

let alone sing the songs of when we first met

Paint me a memory, bleak through the past,

moments of quagmire that were meant to last

I’ve been lost again into the night,

paint me a way, show me some light

As the sands of time slips through those fists,

the land of sea lay covered by the waves that rest

Beyond the ocean, the sky and the distant colors seen,

paint me the horizon and everything in between.

– Deeksha and Srinath

Being a Woman

Copyright © DeekshaSarkar

The days I spend are the days that go by,

Often I ask myself the question – How and Why?

Being a woman is not that easy, 

like the people around me sound like its so cheesy

A daughter, a wife, a mother of maybe five,

a sister, a neighbor, a friend to survive

Among these roles, the time which I spend; 

no regrets; gorgeous, pretty and ten on ten

But somewhere between those fake smiles and uncleaned makeups,

somewhere between those eyes and breakups,

There lives a soul, naked and deep inside,

Away from the pretentious world, within me it resides

Between the folklore and the daily chores,

usually when the heavy rain on the window pane pours

“don’t let it out, be a lady”, they say,

and I stayed still, did everything their way 

a silent storm, an ocean rooted,

buried inside the abyss of ‘being a woman’, rotted 

being sophisticated and polite, 

often suppressed and conquered without a fight

“let it be, you can’t change anything”, they exclaimed,

there was a voice within, thought to be in vain, 

there was a choice to be made, but all they said, 

“don’t be stupid, you are just a lady,

and we don’t give a damn of what you say”

The soul still lives there, weak and frail,

a cold flame, decayed and under a veil 

another butterfly trapped in the cocoon, 

hopes for the future still high, though a little swoon

You see, the days I spend are the days that go by

Often I ask myself the question – How and Why?

Until I saw you…

 

There was nothing special about that day, nothing at all,
The weekend was far, could not be seen even if i was tall

It was the usual long queue, 
and the daily train was nowhere in the view
There was definitely nothing special about that day, 
…until I saw you

Until I saw you… in the crowded train;
You, your phone and everything you claimed

There was something in you, that held me back again,
your black tamed hair, your gleaming eyes
Your curved lips when they saw me,
left me completely clueless, shy away, despised

Your lavender smell got me paralyzed,
enthralled, drugged and mesmerized
You emanated from my thoughts within,
the deepest desire unseen

It was just an ordinary Monday,
…until i was spellbound,
when you came along my way

ALONE.

Alone. Is a Word.
Alone. Is a Sentence.
Alone. Is a Phrase.
Alone. Is a Synonym.
Alone. Is a Satire.
Alone. Is a Crowd.
Alone. Is a Pessimist.
Alone. Is an Optimist.
Alone. Is a Remembrance.
Alone. Is Quiet.
Alone. Is a YOU.
Alone. Is a ME.

Be…

Be strong and never frown,
be brave and keep your tears in grave,
be sweet and always smile when you meet,
be fun and love others a ton,
be naughty but not like little miss haughty,
be bold and face everything you are being told,
be funny and make the days for others sunny,
be gentle, so that nobody thinks you are mental,
be down to earth and make yourself being worth,
but don’t get entangled in violence,
as it may cause you forever silence.

I Am What I Am

I am what I am
a pure piece of junk,
or rather a filthy satiric punk
I live in my own sway,
and you cant mold me into your way
I may not be perfect to fit your surrounding
but I am ME
and am sorry I cant become you… cant you just see
am tired of walking into your shoes,
tired of your repeated woes
you cant take me anymore,
no, even I cant; no more
I might be a looser,
or a flunked duffer
but I am what I am,
and I love myself the way I am
you say I don’t fit in your crowd,
for that I would rather say, I am proud
I never matched your footsteps,
and never you made an attempt to get along with my steps
I might be selfish and insane,
but you are the one who made me wane
I degraded and fell apart,
and you mocked me, saying I was a retard
but now I have found the lost ME
happy to be detached from the so-called WE
and now that’s how I am
and I now know WHAT I AM!!!

I Don’t Love You anymore…

I don’t love u anymore,
no, I don’t trust you; no more,
soar throat, no words to yell,
rusted soul, no stories to tell,
slashed wrist, with blood stitched,
plagued soul, being already ditched,
mute lips, speaking a thousand words,
lame eyes, wandering hundred of miles,
abyss of darkness trapped in fumes,
buried in hatred with sinful tunes,
no, I don’t love you anymore,
and I cant trust you; no more.

The Rusting Soul

Rusting soul waiting to depart,
into the sublime sky near, yet so far,
in the midst of unknown, ceased till dusk till dawn
splinters from the shadows of past I bore, ‘neath the azure mask I wore

with hatred in soul, never thee looked upon,
with filth all around molded my existence for eon,
obfuscation, egoism holding me with a firm grip,
puerility, serenity, ignorance together ready to rip
oath to destruction my path laid
suffice bloodstream flowed and many paid
revenge the reason I was alive,
vengeance was the solely reason I thrived

but now I lay, solemnly under my shroud
devoid of family and friends who could be proud

rusting soul waiting to depart,
into the sublime sky near, yet so far
in the midst of unknown, ceased from dusk till dawn
splinters from the shadows of past I bore, ‘neath the azure mask I wore….

I Think Of You…..

Lying, looking at the ceiling,
lost in my own pool of feelings,
I think of you….

Sitting, staring blankly at the class,
while my mates talk all the way till the time pass,
I think of you…..

Seeing, friends hand in hand,
together they stand,
I think of you…..

Sailing through the old memories,
bound to be let loose from diaries,
I think of you…..

Pricked by the flower,
bearing the pain it showers,
I think of you….

Sitting by the window pane,
watching the flora enjoying the rain,
I think of you……

Burned by the fire of lonliness,
I, into the abyss of darkness,
I think of you….

Do i remind myself to you,
when I think of you…..????

betrayal..

The time I spent with you,
The time I lack behind now
with everyday having its own charm
with every moment embraced in your love
its all over… with the flick of a second
all gone with just a shove
the love… the relation throughout I wove
sweeped into an unknown place…
the place I thought existed and yet never knew
the place so familiar and seemed so new
surrounded by the walls of gushing blood….
darkened by the memories so fresh,
which once lit up my life…
became the sole reason for my survival
all ended in vain…
my eyes witnessed it with pain
me into myself… torn and crushed..
decayed and pushed..into a new horizon
laced with emotions of pain and lonliness
wrapped in my heart with darkness!..
you always were my life I lived..
the life which only I dreamed…
the foundation of love which, just I laid…
but now I feel…
I was the game you just played…!!!!!!!!